Thinking Back

This blog will chronicle my journey through having Lap-Band surgery. The before, they during, and the after. So many changes lie ahead, but I can't help but look at what brought me here. Why go through all this?

I don't know if they still do it, but when I was in elementary school, we got weighed and measured twice a year in the nurse's office. I hated it! The height and weight was then recorded on your report card... for posterity, I guess. Right there on my kindergarten report card shows when it all began. Fall semester I was the same as every other little 5-year-old little girl... but come spring, I was almost 80lbs. My clothes had to come from Sears because they had was was so lovingly referred to as "pretty plus" for the full-figured six-year-old. By third grade I was at 100 lbs, and wearing the same size as my mom. By 4th I was in the plus-size, women's department, and I've never left.

Oh, there have been times when I'd lose enough to get down to a 16. I even squeezed into a 12 once. I've counted calories, counted fat grams. I've done Weight Watchers, I've exercised like a maniac, and still here I am... nearly 35 years old, just under 300 pounds, a size 22, diabetic, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux, and 10 pills a day! No, not any more. Something has to change.

When the doctor put me on my second blood pressure pill, and increased the strength of my cholesterol med, and added a diabetic pill twice a day, I started researching weight-loss surgery again. I delved into researching it like I never had before. See it's not that I'm emotional eater. My biggest problem is I eat because I'M HUNGRY. It won't go away. I don't get full very easily. I don't like it, but that's the way it is. I would LOVE to order off the kids' menu at restaurants and know it would be completely filling.

I see Lap-Banding as a tool to be the size I want to be, and to be active like I want to be. I want to be able to exercise without my stomach getting in the way. I want to take my dog on long walks without getting winded after the first block. I want to be confident in my appearance, and to be able to wear whatever I want. Let's hope things all work out.

Until next time,
Jenn